Inevitable changes?
by ImmIRose
Summary: Changes. We all go through them some unwanted, some welcomed. They make us who we are. Tiva, not entirely shippy but flirting with the line. One-shot!


**A/N..Just a quick one shot that took me about an hour to write, so if it's not all that great then that would be why. Also there are some spoilers from around the end of season 3 onwards.**

**Disclaimer: I wish! I can just about find the DVDs in the shop, their all sold out.**

**R&R and please enjoy!**

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He finds himself stood inside her apartment staring intently into her eyes, her staring right back. Both as scared to ask the question as they are to hear the answer that could either make, or break them.

What now?

It was a simple question, but the answer was a whole different story. They knew it was always going to come down to this, they had just hoped they could avoid it for aslong as possible. He'd said it once before though, "It was inevitable". They now knew he was right and she had been wrong in her reply, standing there together in this moment had proven that. So maybe they hadn't been talking about themselves directly, but there was always that hidden meaning in their 'serious' conversations. The ones based on other people, but always hitting just a little too close to home to be considered comfortable.

How had they gotten here? Everything seemed to have gone so fast, but yet now it was playing out in slow motion. A slow motion designed to torture them. It had started as flirty banter, fueled by a sexual tension both could feel but refused to acknowledge ever since their first meeting. Had that really been three years ago? In those three years they'd been through the works together. But no matter what they always came out fighting, fighting for what though? Eachother, maybe? Change?

Gibbs had left, which was when they felt it. At first it was a weird change, there was nothing there to hold them back anymore. But they did, they held back. Because knowing that line and crossing it were two completely different things, crossing it would mean they could never really go back. Of course there was always the question of, 'What was on the otherside?' So they were there for eachother in the best way they could be, the only way they knew how. The nights spent together, movies, talking, drinking, dinner, silence. Eventually it grew from weird to comfortable, though when, niether could really say. But then they were thrown off track again, another change.

She'd gone to Gibbs, what happened to having eachothers backs? Did she feel she couldn't trust him anymore? Did she think he wouldn't be able to help? Did she think he wouldn't _want_ to help? Too many questions not enough answers, he was beginning to think all that he thought he knew about her was just speculation. He could never really ask, that was an unspoken rule between them, don't ask don't tell. That's when he found himself doubting their friendship, did she feel obliged to be there for him? Another question, their entire partnership based on them, the lack of answers wearing thin. But he knew he would always have her back, did _she_ know that though?

From there they noticed a certain distance between themselves, not put there intentionaly. The walls they had put up and the other had began to chip away at, were slowly being rebuilt. It was like a game of Jenga. When a brick is taken away from the foundation, you just have hope the others are strong enough to hold, but then there's that one person who knocks it all down. Then you have to slowly rebuild the foundations, hoping for it to not happen again. That was probably why they were so guarded in the first place, being broken down too many times before, not willing for it to happen again. But there's always the saying, 'What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger'.

Then came the bulldozer of a change, the one to smash them to pieces. He had been undercover for all this time, how could she not have noticed? Well of course she'd noticed him disapearing at the most inconveniant of times, but she'd been convinced he had hospital appointments. Another thing she had been worrying about, thinking he'd had a relapse with the whole plague thing. In actual fact he hadn't even been receiving medical treatment at all, he'd been dating a doctor as part of his mission. What else had he lied about? She thought of him as a friend maybe something more, hoped he had thought of her as the same. Had she been wrong to hope for such a thing? Why didn't he come to her and tell her what was going on? Didn't he trust her? Ok, so there was the fact that it was an undercover assignment, directly from the Director herself and she of all people understood confidentiality. But really? Did he think she was going to tell someone? She thought he knew her better than that, she thought he _trusted_ her. Now she found herself doubting their friendship, she'd always have his back though, he knew that, right?

* * *

It was a long road after that, she tried to be there for him after the whole undercover fiasco. She still couldn't believe he'd been stupid enough to fall for an assignment, although her attempts to help him were thrown back in her face she didn't give up.

He'd been grateful that she was trying to help him through this rut that he couldn't seem to get out of, but he couldn't help but push her away partly out of guilt. Guilt for lying to her, he didn't deserve her help when he had done nothing to earn it. He of all people knew how hard it was for her to let people past the tough façade she put on, because he tried the hardest to break it. Just not in the way he had managed to. He knew she was hurt, he could see it in her eyes no matter how hard she tried to hide it, he just knew. So he made a vow with himself to make things right between them, no matter how long it took, no matter how hard she tried to push him away after everything that had happened. He was going to fix it, like she had been trying to.

Things got better, slowly but surely they did. They started over almost like someone had pressed rewind on their lives,_ almost_. The flirty banter was there but the tension wasn't the same, the witty remarks were somewhat forced and slightly tinged with bitterness. The smiles that didn't quite reach their eyes, which also refused to make contact. But they pretended everything was fine, they pretended for the sake of the other.

Then he was accused of murder, by his ex-lover/assignment. Her heart sank at the thought of what it must have been like for him to see her again, the opening of old wounds caused her to reach out, just not in the way expected. "Be a man, go tell her what she needs to hear." She told him, not really knowing what she meant herself, not knowing if she wanted to. But hoping her words would help him move forward in the right direction, she found herself wondering if she wanted that direction to be towards herself.

Eventually the roles were reversed when she had to go undercover to catch a serial killer, he had to do the worrying and then he knew how she had felt. He wanted to protect her, to help her with whatever she was going through. But he only succeeded in making things worse. His attempts to help her were thrown back in his face, much like he had done to her. She found her comfort elsewhere, and it pained him to know. So he acted like a crazy jealous boyfriend, which even he knew wasn't helping but yet he couldn't stop himself. He heard the words leaving his mouth and saw the affect they had on her but yet, he kept going on and on. He wondered whether things between them would ever be the same, or if it had changed to much.

* * *

It happened, it happened just like that. Everything fell right back into place, as if the past year or so hadn't happened. They fell back into their old routine, the teasing, the casual glances when the other wasn't looking, communicating without words, pulling pranks. Their friendship was restored, if anything it was probably even stronger than before. Them against the world, just like old times. Any doubts that had been there were gone, but niether would forget what they had to go through to get to where they were. They came out fighting, just like they always did, because they had to.

Niether were prepared for the next change, even if they were given a heads up nothing would have prepared them for the loss of not only a co-worker, but a friend. They went through it together, he pushed everyone else out. Kept them at arms length, blamed himself for what happened. She tried to reassure him that no-one thought anything of the sort, but she could see in his eyes no amount of reassurances would help. He was on a spiral of self destruction, she wanted desperately to drag him out of it and be the one he turned to. She wasn't surprised when she found him in autopsy, nursing a glass of whiskey, apparently he had been waiting for her. She tried once again to get through to him, only for it to fall on deaf ears. Then there was the conversation she would replay over in her head later on, the one about partners and inevitability, at the time she thought he was talking about two others. But now she wasn't so sure, all she was sure about was they had eachother. Hopefully they always would. Then they found themselves in front of the new Director, not expecting what he had to say. They were being seperated, yet another unwatned change.

He found himself at sea, away from all that he knew. Away from her, his home.

She found herself in Israel, a place she once called home. But he was that for her now.

Four months, not a call, not a letter nor email. Seperated, but now reunited.

"You could have called", and with those words everything changes again. He could have, he knows that. So why didn't he? He doesn't have a simple answer to give her, he doesn't have a simple answer to give himself. But yet on his first night back on dry land, he finds himself outside her apartment wanting to give her an answer. As he steps up to her door working himself up to knock, the door swings open and he finds himself face to face with her. How did she know he was there? He doesn't have time to contemplate as she steps aside to let him in. She knew he would come, she knows it has something to do with what she said. She wants an answer, but at the same time her heart beats a mile a minute wondering whether she wants to hear what he has to say. She turns to find him playing nervously with his hands, he seems to feel her eyes on him because he looks up and gives her a wry grin. Not his usual, but shy and nervous. It throws her off for a minute and she looks away, she tries to brush it off but can't help the butterflies building in her stomach. She looks back at him and their eyes meet, his face serious and his hands now down by his side. They both want to look away so they don't have to see the question in the others eyes, but it's like there's a magnet drawing them to eachother. They can see it, both want to know where to go from here, both want to ask, both are scared to. It feels like time has slowed right down. Everything seems to be playing out in slow motion, so slow it is almost at a standstill.

And so. He finds himself stood inside her apartment staring intently into her eyes, her staring right back. Both as scared to ask the question as they are to hear the answer that could either make, or break them.

What now?

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**Hope you all enjoyed it, let me know what you think. I was thinking about writing a 'what happens next', not sure yet. Do you think it's ok where I left it?**

**ImmIRose**


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